"Can't Hear You, Mon!"

by Anguilla Regulars
(New York, NY)

This is an Anguilla story about some early-morning roosters, a misguided solution, and the nice and capable people in Anguilla who fixed everything...

On our second trip to Anguilla in the mid-1990's, we planned to stay again at the Sea View Guest House in Sandy Ground. We recalled from the year before that the roosters started crowing at 5AM, and sometimes earlier. Prior to returning that second year, I was pondering solutions to the early-morning wake-ups.

When we were in Florida before traveling to Anguilla, we noticed a young girl at a pool whose parents molded Silly-Putty into her ears during swimming to keep the water out. Prior to leaving Florida for Anguilla, I bought some Silly-Putty as a solution to the loud roosters at Sandy Ground...

The first night at Sandy Ground, we put the children in their beds, and I put the Silly-Putty in my ears. It worked perfectly -- I couldn't hear anything! I boasted to my wife that now I could sleep as long as I wanted!

After a few minutes that night, I became curious about how easily I would be able to remove the Silly-Putty in the morning. I tried first with my fingers...uh, oh... I could not grip the entire piece. Then I tried with tweezers, but they pinched straight through the soft putty!

Then I realized -- the heat of my ear had warmed the Silly-Putty from its firm original form into a gooey consistency that was now stuck firmly in my ear! My wife (who, by the way, was pregnant) tried to help, but could not remove anything either! And she said I kept yelling, because I could not hear the true volume!

Fortunately, due to my wife's pregnancy and the possibility of medical questions regarding that, I knew that Anguilla had a new Princess Alexandra Hospital in Stoney Ground. But now it was my self-afflicted complication that would require a visit!

I told my wife I would be back soon, and I went to Johnno's Beach Bar to get a taxi, since we had not rented a car yet. I saw that Dumpa and the AnVibes were in full swing but could barely hear them! I asked the bartender to call me a taxi, and he asked me where I needed to go. When I said the hospital, he very nicely became concerned, but I felt like a goof explaining my problem! Then he asked one of the Anguillian regulars to drive me to the hospital, which was very nice of both of them.

Upon getting to the hospital, the nurses in the emergency room giggled and then gently swabbed out the Silly-Putty with Q-Tips soaked in alcohol (didn't know that worked) and sent me back to Sandy Ground and my relieved wife. I made sure to reward the driver and hospital for their unconventional tasks!

The rest of the week was much calmer, with beautiful Anguillian people, beaches, food and hospitality -- more conventional care than the sympathetic nurses and driver had provided during my Anguillian misadventure with Silly-Putty!